Female 1: "Ok, fine! I'll tell you about the...run in with the law incident, Ok, so awhile back, while I was living in San Fran, I met this guy, you know? Totally sweet, and totally hot. He asks me to go to the gym with him, and of course that's a great opertunity to, ya know, put on little spandex...and for him to put on little spandex. So we get to the gym, and totally hit it off. He's into just going to movies, and out to lunch, and even going to the mall with me..."
Female 2: "What's he look like?!"
Female 1: "Oh, dear, you know, some Rock mixed with Colin...a total babe... with a tight body, and really, really nice ass, an-"
Female 2: "What about the, ya know, spandex at the gym, what was in it!"
Female 1: " Well maybe I'd get to it if you would all kindly stop interupting me...but anyway, the spandex sitch. is looking FABULOUS. We get to know eachother pretty well...he's always winking and flashing smiles at me. We literally go get coffee, eat together, work-out together, everything!...except,"
Female 3: "Except....??"
Female 1: "Sleep together! ya, I know, why the hell not you ask? well...this is when it gets crazy. We go out to a bar that I've never been too. He tell's me that I'm sure I'd find somebody..but here I am just lookin at him, ya know? But anyway, I get into the bar- FILLED with hot guys- and start to drink, I get, like, the works...shots...margaritas...beer, everything, I mean, I'm feelin a little down and out about the Mark sitch, so I simply just drown away my sorrows. He comes up to me and tell's me we should probably get going, "Back to your place" I said, I mean, I wasn't thinking. He just laughs at me, we get into the car, and head back to my place. By this time I'm feelin' pretty decent, so when he leans over, I like, try and kiss him-"
Female 2: "No you didn't!"
Female 1: "Oh yeah girl, I did...and then a whammy happens, he tell's me I'm not his type! YA I KNOW! So we get back to my place, he parks and drops me off. So I'm feelin a little frisky, ya know, I'm gonna prove-"
Female 3: "Wait, you never told us, like, if he had a job or anything, is he a total catch, because I need to know this before you continue."
Female 1: "Well, if ya would just let me finish...anyway, I get to thinkin about things like, He aint never told me about his job, and when I think about it, He does disapear a lot, but I'm so drunk, I don't care, i get to scheming. So his apartment isn't too far from mine, only about 4 blocks, I think I'm good to drive, I get into my car and head over to his place. Just wait, just wait, so I get there and i get out...you won;t believe what I'm doing, I'm literally naked, OK? butt naked, except for this long rain coat I have, Ya, I'm gonna show him I can be his type ya know. I'm so drunk, I dont even care that it's cold out. I walk up to his door and knock-"
Female 3: "I can see so many things going wrong....oh my God don't even tell me he's-"
Female 1: "HE OPENS THE DOOR, I OPEN M JACKET! and ya just guess what, just guess! HE'S GAY, AND A COP. A GAY COP, of course I htink to myself..I'm in San Francisco , how could i be so dumb! So I open my jacket, he get's offended, arrests me, takes me to jail, the works! and I'm naked under this goddamn jacket the whole time! My skinny ass is sittin; in a holding cell, NAKED! So I pay bail and get out. Im a freakin; criminal for indecent exsposeur! and seriously offending a gay man!"
Female 2: "What's he look like?!"
Female 1: "Oh, dear, you know, some Rock mixed with Colin...a total babe... with a tight body, and really, really nice ass, an-"
Female 2: "What about the, ya know, spandex at the gym, what was in it!"
Female 1: " Well maybe I'd get to it if you would all kindly stop interupting me...but anyway, the spandex sitch. is looking FABULOUS. We get to know eachother pretty well...he's always winking and flashing smiles at me. We literally go get coffee, eat together, work-out together, everything!...except,"
Female 3: "Except....??"
Female 1: "Sleep together! ya, I know, why the hell not you ask? well...this is when it gets crazy. We go out to a bar that I've never been too. He tell's me that I'm sure I'd find somebody..but here I am just lookin at him, ya know? But anyway, I get into the bar- FILLED with hot guys- and start to drink, I get, like, the works...shots...margaritas...beer, everything, I mean, I'm feelin a little down and out about the Mark sitch, so I simply just drown away my sorrows. He comes up to me and tell's me we should probably get going, "Back to your place" I said, I mean, I wasn't thinking. He just laughs at me, we get into the car, and head back to my place. By this time I'm feelin' pretty decent, so when he leans over, I like, try and kiss him-"
Female 2: "No you didn't!"
Female 1: "Oh yeah girl, I did...and then a whammy happens, he tell's me I'm not his type! YA I KNOW! So we get back to my place, he parks and drops me off. So I'm feelin a little frisky, ya know, I'm gonna prove-"
Female 3: "Wait, you never told us, like, if he had a job or anything, is he a total catch, because I need to know this before you continue."
Female 1: "Well, if ya would just let me finish...anyway, I get to thinkin about things like, He aint never told me about his job, and when I think about it, He does disapear a lot, but I'm so drunk, I don't care, i get to scheming. So his apartment isn't too far from mine, only about 4 blocks, I think I'm good to drive, I get into my car and head over to his place. Just wait, just wait, so I get there and i get out...you won;t believe what I'm doing, I'm literally naked, OK? butt naked, except for this long rain coat I have, Ya, I'm gonna show him I can be his type ya know. I'm so drunk, I dont even care that it's cold out. I walk up to his door and knock-"
Female 3: "I can see so many things going wrong....oh my God don't even tell me he's-"
Female 1: "HE OPENS THE DOOR, I OPEN M JACKET! and ya just guess what, just guess! HE'S GAY, AND A COP. A GAY COP, of course I htink to myself..I'm in San Francisco , how could i be so dumb! So I open my jacket, he get's offended, arrests me, takes me to jail, the works! and I'm naked under this goddamn jacket the whole time! My skinny ass is sittin; in a holding cell, NAKED! So I pay bail and get out. Im a freakin; criminal for indecent exsposeur! and seriously offending a gay man!"
So funny!
ReplyDeleteAn amazing mood change.